If You Have Nothing Nice To Say... (Rant and Pictures)

*Rant Warning*  *Language Warning* *Extremely pissed off pregnant woman Warning*

...Don't say I didn't warn you.

As most of you might know, I saw my family this past weekend after we had our ultrasound.  Although most of my family was happy for me, and couldn't believe that I was pregnant..some showed some disrespect.  This particular person tried to act as nicely as they possibly could, but I could see the distain in their eyes.  I understand that I am unemployed college drop out that probably should be saving more money than I am right now.  I know that I shouldn't be buying myself new clothes because all of my older clothes no longer fit.  I'm not going to appologize for where I am in my life right now, because I am truly happy.  Please do not make remarks to me about my "whole life being on facebook" and the fact that I "don't call for the big things." 
...UMMMMMM what BIG things are going on in my life besides me being pregnant?  And you found out WAY before a lot of other family members.  So put that in your pipe and smoke it.  I'm sorry that you feel that I'm going nowhere in my life, that's your issue...not mine.  I'm LOVING my life right now.  I've got everything I need.  I have a man in my life that for the first time doesn't expect me to be something I'm not.  I have a child that's growing inside of me, after doctors told me that it just might not happen for me. 

You have two choices...be happy for me, or stay away.  I'm not going to pussyfoot around and walk on eggshells around you.  I am a grown woman, just like you.  Just because you are older, doesn't make you wiser.   You expect respect, well so do I.
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Yes, Mrs. Doctor Ma'am...I put on weight.  It's not my fault that I'm on medicine that you PERSONALLY perscribed for me that makes me put on weight.  Apparently I can't stop taking this medicine because if I do, I won't be able to breathe!  I'm guessing air in my lungs is kinda important.  I know that I'm fat, and that I've gained "sufficent" amount of weight so far (22 pounds).  But don't assume that I'm just laying around eating bon-bons and potato chips.  Yes, I might not be the healthiest eater, but I'm fucking trying.  I've stuck to the diet that I was given at my first appointment.  I didn't know that now I should be eating an even more rescrited diet.  Now that I know, I'm going to try my best to stick to it as much as I can.
You're worried about my blood pressure.  Okay, I understand that.  But also read my chart.  What is my blood pressure?  It's on the low side of normal.  No, that's not a mistake...the nurse took my BP two times...both times it was the same thing.  So don't look at that and go "Well that has to be a mistake."  Not every fat person loves to cook in lard and add salt to everything they eat.  I'll admit I like potato chips, but I don't eat an entire bag at one sitting.  Don't lecture me on how I shouldn't be adding salt to my diet, when obviously, my blood pressure is good for now.  Instead, listen to me when I say that I'm concerned about GD, since that's a little more realistic at this point.  Although I finger prick myself often...I've been noticing it has been higher. 
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This one goes out to my friend Jenn, her husband and my fiancee.  This economy is in the shitter.  People are working at jobs that they hate, and applying to jobs that they normaly wouldn't consider.  At least Ben (Jenn's husband) and Greg are trying to provide for their family.  I think that is more mature than anything else.  Right now, Greg is working 12 hour shifts some days and working on the side doing pick up and mechanical work.  Although Ben doesn't have a job right now, he's trying.  I know he's not the most motivated person around...but at least he's putting himself out there.  He's not like some other people who are on unemployment for a year and only look for jobs because if he doesn't he'll lose his benefits.  He's also not on any sort of assistance...so in my book he's better than most. 

I know that before the baby comes that we'll have to go on food stamps and WIC...but that's because of formula.  I'm sorry but that shit's expenisve.  But so far, Greg has been more than able to support both me and him and the baby.  I know that is going to change in a few months...but he's busting his ass.

Don't act holier than thou because you don't know what to do with yourself.  I appaude these two men for trying to make their situations better. 
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Now that I'm done bitching, (thank you for listening reading by the way) it's time to post pictures:

20 Weeks!   Ahhh halfway there!  Yes, I look goofy and it's not the photographer's fault. :(  I'm really starting to "pop" out.  My belly is getting "harder" every day.  I'm still a little squishy (you'll see in the last picture) but I'm fine with that.  As long as the baby is growing and staying healthy.

I'm sorry that you can see my bra...this shirt isn't see thru as much as it looks...it's just super comfy.  Although I did gain 22 pounds so far, all the weight has been litterly in my belly and my boobs.  I went up 3 cup sizes so far! (I pretty much keep them squished in my bra...that I'm busting out of already)  And the doctor told me that I could go up another 3 sizes if I breast feed. 

Good Lord, that means I'll be in a...44 G!  Holy Boobs, Batman.  I hope she was kidding, because DAMN I'd be stacked.

Here you can see my "squishy".  I still have a good bit of fat rolls and my lower "hanging" belly is still there.  That's probably not going to go away.  I still miss my toes.  And although they are ugly, I still love my stretch marks.  My uterus was mesured for the first time yesterday, and little man is mesuring about 2 weeks ahead.  I hope that means that he's going to come a little earlier. :) 


Until Next Time:
~MommyToBee