Home?

Lately I've been feeling lonesome and about 20 other shades of depressed.  I know Greg is trying his best to keep me together...but honestly, he can't get get my out of this funk.  I've been walking a little more...cleaning when I can.  (I was told yesterday all the work I did was for nothing...because Greg won't be able to move things around this weekend.)  But lately I just want to not be here.  I don't want to be around his family...especially when they are driving me nuts.  I don't need someone to ask me where I'm going or when I'm going to be home.  I guess that's the drawback when you're too broke to move out on your own.

It's times like this when I miss home.  I miss my family...even if they are crazy.  I miss to downtime of it all.  Hell, I almost miss the smell.  To me, York isn't home.  But it's Greg's home, and I would never make him uproot his life like I did willingly almost 2 years ago.  (Wow...it's been that long?)  Now I wish I could change that decision.  I'm not a city girl.  This country girl is missing home more than anyone knows.

Even if we were to save money and find a place up there, either Greg or I or both would have to find jobs immediately.  And in this economy, I don't see how that's possible.  Yes, it's looking up, but it could still take an additional 2 years to get on the right track.  Frankly, Greg has a good thing going where he works.  Yes, he's *only* a temp, but he's in good with the bosses.  And apparently the head wearhouse boss is trying to get him a first shift job, as soon as one opens up.  Chris (the wearhouse boss) wants him to stay with the company.  She even offers him overtime when she can.  As much as I hate to say it, he needs this job and we can't really think about moving away from it.

I'm sure my depressive thoughts are not helped by the fact that I've been lacking sleep and sick the past few days.  Since I'm working on trying not to complain so much (especailly to Greg, he doens't need to hear about it all the time) I've "suffered in silence" since Sunday.  I can't seen to get comfortable at night, and when I do, I have the worst nightmares.  Then when I wake up in the morning I have these terrible headaches that don't go away.  I know it might not seem like a whole lot but when you're not sleeping and all you want is sleep?  It starts to get to you.  I'm pretty sure my body is just preparing me for when Little Man comes.  But really body, do we have to start a whole 19 weeks before he's due? 

Hormones are not my friend.  Not my friend at all. 

I think it actually might be time to just relax a little until this headache chills out for a little. 
Until Next Time:
~MommyToBee