*Rant Warning* *Language Warning* *Extremely pissed off pregnant woman Warning*
...Don't say I didn't warn you.
As most of you might know, I saw my family this past weekend after we had our ultrasound. Although most of my family was happy for me, and couldn't believe that I was pregnant..some showed some disrespect. This particular person tried to act as nicely as they possibly could, but I could see the distain in their eyes. I understand that I am unemployed college drop out that probably should be saving more money than I am right now. I know that I shouldn't be buying myself new clothes because all of my older clothes no longer fit. I'm not going to appologize for where I am in my life right now, because I am truly happy. Please do not make remarks to me about my "whole life being on facebook" and the fact that I "don't call for the big things."
...UMMMMMM what BIG things are going on in my life besides me being pregnant? And you found out WAY before a lot of other family members. So put that in your pipe and smoke it. I'm sorry that you feel that I'm going nowhere in my life, that's your issue...not mine. I'm LOVING my life right now. I've got everything I need. I have a man in my life that for the first time doesn't expect me to be something I'm not. I have a child that's growing inside of me, after doctors told me that it just might not happen for me.
You have two choices...be happy for me, or stay away. I'm not going to pussyfoot around and walk on eggshells around you. I am a grown woman, just like you. Just because you are older, doesn't make you wiser. You expect respect, well so do I.
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Yes, Mrs. Doctor Ma'am...I put on weight. It's not my fault that I'm on medicine that you PERSONALLY perscribed for me that makes me put on weight. Apparently I can't stop taking this medicine because if I do, I won't be able to breathe! I'm guessing air in my lungs is kinda important. I know that I'm fat, and that I've gained "sufficent" amount of weight so far (22 pounds). But don't assume that I'm just laying around eating bon-bons and potato chips. Yes, I might not be the healthiest eater, but I'm fucking trying. I've stuck to the diet that I was given at my first appointment. I didn't know that now I should be eating an even more rescrited diet. Now that I know, I'm going to try my best to stick to it as much as I can.
You're worried about my blood pressure. Okay, I understand that. But also read my chart. What is my blood pressure? It's on the low side of normal. No, that's not a mistake...the nurse took my BP two times...both times it was the same thing. So don't look at that and go "Well that has to be a mistake." Not every fat person loves to cook in lard and add salt to everything they eat. I'll admit I like potato chips, but I don't eat an entire bag at one sitting. Don't lecture me on how I shouldn't be adding salt to my diet, when obviously, my blood pressure is good for now. Instead, listen to me when I say that I'm concerned about GD, since that's a little more realistic at this point. Although I finger prick myself often...I've been noticing it has been higher.
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This one goes out to my friend Jenn, her husband and my fiancee. This economy is in the shitter. People are working at jobs that they hate, and applying to jobs that they normaly wouldn't consider. At least Ben (Jenn's husband) and Greg are trying to provide for their family. I think that is more mature than anything else. Right now, Greg is working 12 hour shifts some days and working on the side doing pick up and mechanical work. Although Ben doesn't have a job right now, he's trying. I know he's not the most motivated person around...but at least he's putting himself out there. He's not like some other people who are on unemployment for a year and only look for jobs because if he doesn't he'll lose his benefits. He's also not on any sort of assistance...so in my book he's better than most.
I know that before the baby comes that we'll have to go on food stamps and WIC...but that's because of formula. I'm sorry but that shit's expenisve. But so far, Greg has been more than able to support both me and him and the baby. I know that is going to change in a few months...but he's busting his ass.
Don't act holier than thou because you don't know what to do with yourself. I appaude these two men for trying to make their situations better.
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Now that I'm done bitching, (thank you for listening reading by the way) it's time to post pictures:
20 Weeks! Ahhh halfway there! Yes, I look goofy and it's not the photographer's fault. :( I'm really starting to "pop" out. My belly is getting "harder" every day. I'm still a little squishy (you'll see in the last picture) but I'm fine with that. As long as the baby is growing and staying healthy.
I'm sorry that you can see my bra...this shirt isn't see thru as much as it looks...it's just super comfy. Although I did gain 22 pounds so far, all the weight has been litterly in my belly and my boobs. I went up 3 cup sizes so far! (I pretty much keep them squished in my bra...that I'm busting out of already) And the doctor told me that I could go up another 3 sizes if I breast feed.
Good Lord, that means I'll be in a...44 G! Holy Boobs, Batman. I hope she was kidding, because DAMN I'd be stacked.
Here you can see my "squishy". I still have a good bit of fat rolls and my lower "hanging" belly is still there. That's probably not going to go away. I still miss my toes. And although they are ugly, I still love my stretch marks. My uterus was mesured for the first time yesterday, and little man is mesuring about 2 weeks ahead. I hope that means that he's going to come a little earlier. :)
Until Next Time:
~MommyToBee
The past few weeks have been...interesting. Weeks 15 and 16 I had a stomach bug that made me worry about the health of the baby. Week 17, I found it hard to eat and drink water. And now at week 18 is starting off with lots of cravings and hunger. Yesterrday I needed to have pancakes for breakfast. (I had a dream about them. Then I needed to have spaghetti with meat sauce. For desert I needed to have a mixed dish of ice cream from Dairy Queen.
I maintain the fact that it wasn't me who wanted it...it was the baby. And boy, once I ate those three things...I got kicked...alot. In fact, when Greg and I were at Giant to pick up some of the things we needed for the spagetti, I got kicked so hard in the kidney, I almost doubled over. Of course, Greg goes..."The baby can't kick you in the kidney!" And all I could think was: "Oh yea, and you've had a mini human growing inside of you?" I know that the baby didn't really kick my kidney...but it felt like it. And the fact that the kicks are getting stronger is a pretty awesome thing. I had a little issue with not being able to feel them on the inside, but I definately felt them on the outside. That is no longer the case. I'm pretty sure that the little one is doing flips and cartwheels and pretending that my insides are his or her own personal punching bag.
It's pretty awesome though. :) I really am not complaining. I just want him or her to know that it's prefectly find to beat me up. I just beat up Daddy then. :D
So I had a pretty amazing weekend! It started out on Saturday. My best friend, Jenn, came down for a visit. Jenn, her husband, Greg and I went fishing and just had a nice day just fishing and catching up. It was so nice to be around some of my friends. Seems like lately it's been all about Greg and his friends. I know that's not really the case...but it was really nice to see them! I'll have to post the pictures I got from our little fishing trip tomorrow, since I can't seem to find the usb cord. We went fishing...got caught on rocks...lost sinkers and hooks...Jenn was the only one who caught a fishie!...we had dinner...and a little shopping at Greg's favorite store. I actually cried a little when we had to say goodbye. I'm a sap. And pregnancy hormones aren't helping.
I know that it's only less than 2 weeks until I get to see everyone up there. I am so friggen excited. I'm also pretty excited for our gender prediction ultrasound. I really, really, REALLY want to know! Seems like everyone else who is due the month I'm due already found out. I know I'm one of the late ones, but I still want to know! I know in the beginning I was praying it's a boy...but I'm raelly liking the fact that there might be a little girl in there. Either way...I'm going to be happy.
*kicking starts for the first time today*
Well, I guess it's about that time...stoopid laundry.
Until Next Time:
~MommyToBee
I have been very good about drinking enough water for me and baby this whole pregnancy. At least 3 liters of water a day. However, I think I hit the wall. Water is just not quenching my thirst. I know it should be the go to drink, but if I have to drink another glass, I'm going to freak. I've started drinking more milk, but I can't drink it beyond the morning hours or if I have cookies. I added a little bit of juice to my daily intake due to some tummy issues with the bathroom. It's not like soda is a good option. I might drink a little when I go out to eat, but I rarely drink it at home anymore.
So here I am, forcing myself to drink water. I do it for the baby. I just wish that it would taste better. I know I could drink Crystal Light, but even that doesn't sound to appealing.
Not only am I not digging water, I'm also not very hungry. I eat breakfast (cereal with extra milk and sometimes with a piece of fruit) and then I have a pack of fruit snacks about 2 hours later. I then have to force myself to eat lunch by 1, only to eat again at 5. Lunch and dinner I have to force down. And I'm noticing that those meals are getting smaller and smaller. I have no idea what's causing this.
I'm getting a little afraid that it would be affecting the baby for the simple fact that I haven't felt Baby Boo move yesterday or today. I'm sure it's because I haven't been that active and I haven't really tried to lay down and just feel the baby. So today I'm going to try some cleaning and moving around and hopefully that will wake up the little one a little more. I know that it's still early for me to feel the little one, so I'm not trying to worry too much. I know I'm a worry wort so I need to put some things in the back of my mind.
I'm pretty stoked for this weekend though! My best friend, Jenn, and her husband are planning on coming down here for a little fishing trip. I just hope that it isn't as "cool" as they want it. Between yesterday and today the weather changed about 6 times. I haven't seen her since the end of November, so I'm pretty sure I need some "girl" time. Besides, it'll be the first time that she's actually seeing the "bump". Hell, she's the first of my friends back home that are seeing it! It's been too long...seriously.
And that means it's only 16 days until we get to find out what the baby is! (Well, hopefully) I'm planning on drinking some OJ before we go, even though I really don't like OJ. Why? It's supposed to make the baby more active. A more active baby = better chance of him or her opening their legs. And I want the baby to show it allllll off. I want to be able to tell my mom and dad and Jenn and everyone(!) what we have inside of me!
Lots of excitement in my world, let me tell ya.
Side note: I found an old teacher on facebook today. Mind you, I had a h-u-g-e crush on this teacher while in high school. Seriously, he was gorgeous. Now, I found him, I don't have the courage to add him, but I found out he got married! *tear!* No one ever thought that he would get married...a lot of us thought he was batting for the other team. But I knew he wasn't. Damn, he's married!?! :(
Yes, I know I'm knocked up and engaged to another man...so?
Until Next Time:
~MommyToBee
Well thank you to my best friend, Jenn, for always getting me to try different things. And when she started blogging a little more, I decided that I wanted to keep track of how my pregnancy is going.
I guess the story starts last June 10th. My-then-boyfriend (now fiancee) and I found out that after only a few short months of dating, we were expecting. Our happiness was soon taken away though when on July 7th we lost the baby. After months of depression and grieving, we finally felt that we can move on past our pain. We knew that we wanted to get married and then after we were "hitched" we would try again to have a baby. Well, lo and behold, we ended up expecting again. We found out on Christmas even morning.
A few days later though, I went to the emergency room with some pain in my lower belly. This struck a cord with me, and of course my mind went to the worst case. Luckily, that is not the case and things are looking great. We had our (techincally second) ultrasound today. But it was the first one to actually see the baby's progress. I got a grainy picture. And a promise that the baby's heart looked strong.
I might not post everyday, but I will post regularly. This way I can reflect on my pregnancy.
Have a good night everyone!
