The past few days I've been plagued with the worst mood swings ever. It started on Friday when I literally sobbed for 3 hours for no reason. I couldn't stop for anything. And when I finally did get into a lull of cries, I would start up again for no reason. Soon, I got frustrated at myself for being so weepy. There wasn't anything wrong. I just felt...worthless.
I make little jokes to Greg all the time that I guess I was supposed to be barefoot and pregnant. In the past year, I've been pregnant twice. Honestly, sometimes I just feel like a baby machine. Now, I know I'm never going to give Michelle Duggar a run for her money. And Greg will probably want to stop having kids after this one. (He's said on more than once that he doesn't want more than one. Which, is a little shocking, since he's one of seven kids.) As much as I beg him for another, I know fiancially it probably won't happen. This has been a hard year. Sometimes I drift off on the bad, and realize that I do have a lot of postives.
Like, everyday I become a little more aware of my uterus. I know it sounds so silly. But certain ways you move, you can feel it. Even the outline and how hard it's becoming. How I can feel little man moving and kicking. I know it's still not as much as I would like...but it's happening more. He's moving more than I can feel...and I just got to put my faith in that. That he is growing. Something his big brother or sister never did.
Yes, I get concerned when I feel something in my belly. But I think that's normal for any expecting mother. And let me say: I've had a LOT of weird pains and pulls and tugs recently. There also not always in my belly. (Hello. Mr. Man...that was my hoo-ha...don't kick there. Thank youuuu.) But I'm trying not to worry. Again, I'm putting all my faith in the fact that everyday he's growing. (He's approximately 12 inches [or will be by the end of the 21st week] and will be close to a pound!) I know my constant worrying is just hurting me and him in the long run. So I'm going to stop...or at least try to.
With all of this bipolar going on with me, it's making it really hard to talk to someone that I've leaned on this entire pregnancy. My mother is driving me nuts. I know she means well but good gravy...I'm going to snap. This is her first grandbaby. But she makes it sound like she's the only one who cares. Take for example when we found out the gender. I told her numerous times that I'll tell her what we're having when we see her. Because I feel news like that isn't supposed to shared over the phone when you're the mother of the mother of the baby. But no. I called her to let her know that we were on our way to home and she flipped out that my dad will find out what the baby is before her! "It's something that's supposed to be shared between mother and daughter." Ummm no, it's actually supposed to be something shared between mother and father of the baby. I got so upset that I told her. It was a happy moment and she kind of poo-pooed on it.
And we can never get that moment back.
Okay enough about mood swings.
I'm seriously debating if I want to write a book titled "Shit They Don't Tell You About Pregnancy". It will be a best seller. And I will share my knowledge:
*Your nose grows. Mine got HUGE. Don't take my word for it, ask my mother...she'll tell you.
*Sex becomes pretty impossible when you want it the most. Especially if you have an equally pregnant fiancee.
*You will realize that waking up in the middle of the night to pee is not only for old people.
*If you have tattoos, even if they are completely healed, they will start to itch and scab. The one I'm talking about is almost 3 years old and is scabbing like it's brand flippen new. I'm not impressed.
*Cravings are not limited to only food. I never thought I would have a craving for ice. Just ice. I want a big ol cup of ice to suck on. I want no flavored ice...just ice cubes.
*Pregnancy dreams (yes I knew about them) that are so amazing that you wish when you woke up it was real. I.e.: In this dream I was at Olive Garden with Jenn and we were eating their new cheddar cheese breadsticks. (SO good looking) And our waiter was Nick Simmons the son of Gene Simmons. *drool*
....he can serve me breadsticks anyday.
....6 foot 7 of pure MMMM.
*Did I mention it's really hard to have sex with my fiancee? Cause that's becoming a major problem.
Well that's it for now!
~MommyToBee
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