Let's get down to business

With the wedding fastly approaching, I have set up a timeline and to do list.  As well, I have also started my diet.  While it's not "perfect" I already seem to be losing something.  I can't really see it (because I'm huge) but I can feel it.  Which, is a win in my eyes. 

Although I have had someone help me with all the preparations, I still feel quite rushed.  In only 66 days I will be "Mrs. Thomas" and I am so nervous that something is going to go wrong.  Lately, there have been a lot of problems that seem to be following us.  My biggest worry is that this little black cloud is going to linger until the big day.  All I can do is just try to prepare for the worst and just keep my head up high. 

Things are being crossed off my to do list.  Like, Jaden's outfit is done.  The centerpieces will be done next week.  The final guest list is done.  And the RSVPs are coming in.  (More about that later)  Everything really feels like it's falling in place.  So why do I feel like nothing is done, and it will never be done?

Oh, because I'm crazy.  That's why.

I have ZERO reason to worry that things won't be done.  But I just can't help it.  Money is tight and seems like the closer we get, the more money we are putting in.  Not that that's a bad thing.  We are getting one hell of a deal and sticking to a good budget.  I just don't understand where the funds are going.  It is truly mind boggling.  And to top it off- people are INVITING themselves to our event.  Ummm how about no?  I'm pretty sure people aren't going to like what I have to say when I tell them "Really?  Yea, no.  You're NOT invited."  I will not hesitate to have the front desk clerk check the guest list.  I'm THAT serious.

I'm hoping that things will slow down soon, but I know it'll only pick up.  Oy.  I can't wait to be married!

Until Next Time:
~MommyToBee

Blogging has gotten away from me. :(

So much has been happening lately.  Last week, I had a mini-vacay at my wonderful bestie's house.  It was great to get away, but I missed Greg.  Yes, he gets on my nerves...but what can I say...I love him.  While I was there, we got a lot of wedding stuff accomplished.  A new venue.  The bouquets.  The room design.  The cake.  The cake topper.  Most of the music.  All but one dress.  Alternations on two dresses.  Jaden's outfit has been picked out.  Groomsmen go for fittings next week. 

In baby news:

Jaden is officially crawling! And he is cruising around.  His favorite word is "da da".  But last night...he said the sweetest thing.  I cried a little when I finally heard "mama".  Ohhhhh.  Here come the tears now!

Once I have more time, I really need to update this more in depth.  Until next time:
~MommyToBee

I've been terrible updating this.

Ever since Greg's been out of work, I have gotten less accomplished.  Today, I threw him out.  It's just Jaden and me.  And I'm cleaning.  Seriously.  EVERYTHING is getting cleaned.  Remember in previous posts about how I call Greg a hurricane?  Well currently it looks more like a tornado.  I can't wait to get everything cleaned up!

Jaden is doing so good.  We started him on solids.  He loves squash and peas.  Carrots aren't a top favorite, but he'll eat them.  Green beans are a no go.  And today we tried some apples.  Hopefully that will help him poop (sorry, TMI!).  It's been 6 days and he's starting to be grumpy.  (wouldn't you if it's been almost a week?)  He's still breastfeeding like a champ.  He loves his momma milk.  And he is starting to get possive over them.  When He's really hungry he will grab my shirt and open his mouth wide.  I think it's cute, but I have to stop it.  That's apart of nrusing manners.  He can't do that. 

He is also starting to talk!  OMG!!  So far he only says "da da" and what I think is "yeahhhhh" *his voice goes high towards the end*.  He babbles and gets upset if you don't talk back to him.  It's so cute.  Not only that, but he is able to pull himself up to a standing postion for a while now.  And instead of crawling (which he can do poorly...can't figure out that only one arm can be up at a time) he wants to cruise around!  My little man can't start walking yet!!!! :(  Oy.

Wedding stuff is going great, thanks to my wonderful bestie.  She really has taken charge of everything.  Jenn, you are awesome! 

The last dress has been bought.  The cake is ordered.  I'm waiting for confirmation on the new venue.  The music is being taken care of.  The food is on the back burner, but that's coming along well.  Centerpieces just need to be bought and assembled.  Greg and his men still need their threads, and that's coming up soon.  Guest list is almost 100% completed.  And the invites are going to be ordered this week. 

For now, I'm going to get my butt in gear and clean.  I only got a few hours before the manchild comes home!

Until Next Time:
~MommyToBee

Forgive me, for I have been slacking.

With Greg not working he has been up my butt lounging around while I try to get everything done for the wedding, take care of baby and pretty much do everything else.  He says he's "trying" but I know he's pretty depressed.  I know it's hard, but I need him out of the house.  I can only take so much of my fiancee before I want to punch him in the face.  He's a lovable guy...but good grief.

We hit a snag with wedding plans.  With Greg losing his job, we can no longer afford the Holiday Inn reception hall.  With barely any income, all our extra pennies need to go to saving for the wedding.  However, even if we didn't need gas for the jeep, or insurance, or needed to eat...we wouldn't have enough.  Our cell phones would be cut off, Jaden wouldn't have diapers, and quite possibly we wouldn't even be able to afford soap.  I'm not saying with are destitute, but life happened.  Money is gone.  We have to stay on top of everything.

I know we could just post pone the wedding.  And I would be okay with that...except for the fact that I am ready to be married.  Sounds cliche, but I am sick and tired of not being married to the father of my child.  Yes, him and I have our problems, but we are doing great so far.  He has done more for me without complaining than any other man.  He is my rock.  My love.  The one I wanna be with.

Jaden has been so great.  At his last appointment, he weighed in at 19 pounds 3 ounces, 27 3/4 inches long.  Since then, we started him on solids.  He loves peas and carrots, green beans are another story.  He is starting to crawl, although he hasn't gotten it down quite yet.  Actually, he sort of prefers to stand up and cruise.  :(  My little boy can't be this grown up!

Well, now it's off to try to motivate Greg into looking for wedding stuff or to go out with his nephew driving.

Until Next Time (I'll have more to update, promise!)
~MommyToBee

Why Momma Needs To Get Her Groove Back *TMI!!!*

Since Jaden has been born, Greg and I have only had sex twice.  And we have "attempted" 3 times.  That means, less than once a month we "get it on".  He tries to no avial to get me in the mood to have sex, but I always seem to turn him down.  He is still very attractive in my eyes and I would like to be intimate, but I just can't for some reason.

And "for some reason" I mean these:
*I have let myself go.  I am the fattest I have ever been.  And I am disgusted at how gross I really am. 
*I love to have my breasts played with.  While they are not techicnally off limits, I feel weird about what I feed my child is also Daddy's play things.
*Jaden is still co-sleeping with us.  I love having my little boy next to me, but that kind of limits how "sexy time" happens.  It has to be planned out.  And more than likely-it won't happen in the bed.
*Physcially, it's hard to have it right now.  I don't want to go into too many details with that.
*And well...it hurts.  Not where you might think, either.  Whenever I get "turned on", my c-section scar itches and aches.  I was told that it could happen.  And that if it did become an issue, there is nothing that can be done for it.  (Lucky me.)

For a little bit, Greg was understanding...well as understanding as a man could be.  But now, it's really starting to effect or relationship.

We once had a spark.  I can't explain it.  But we were so "on" with one another.  We had the same thoughts, we could litterally finish eachothers' sentences.  Now, it's like we're becoming strangers.  We lost that "spark".  I feel like he's falling out of love with me, and me with him.

And that depresses me to no end.  I truly want to spend the rest of my life with him.  But I think I have pushed him away and used with holding sex as some sort of punishment.  Why do I subconciously feel like I need to punish him?  I have no idea, but I need to figure it out. 

Because I will not let the fact that we have a child change our sex lives.  Even if it means me not enjoying it for a while...I need to try at least.  I cannot lose that man because of a low sex drive.  I got to make it work somehow.   Greg is worth at least a good honest college try. 

Let's just hope I can somehow make this work.

Until Next Time:
~MommyToBee

Wedding, Diets, Layoff and Baby

A lot has changed since my last post.  Greg has been layed off.  While his "boss" keeps saying there's work and she's trying to bring him back, it's been 2 and a half weeks without him working.  While it's nice to have him home, I am ready for him to work again.  He is getting on my last nerve...and I think I'm starting to annoy him as well.  I keep hoping that every time his phone rings he's getting called back.  Oh well, I think it's time for him to start looking for more work.  *Sigh*  This is not the time for this to be happening.

We are starting to get things in order for our wedding.  I have bought my dress (as well as my MOH) and the hall deposit is down.  Next the invites need to be done and we need someone to marry us.  The list keeps growing, and so is my guest list.  Seriously, when did it become "okay" to invite yourself to a wedding?  The last I heard, you don't do that.  If I haven't personally mentioned the wedding to you...consider yourself NOT on the list.

I got a firm budget on this party...and I don't want certain people there.  Not because I don't like them...oh wait.  It is.

Going along with the whole "I really shouldn't look like a stuffed sausage for my wedding thing" I visited a nutritionist yesterday.  I need to lose some weight...like now.  I am truly disgusting. 

Now...let's get to the baby. :)  He is my favorite subject, after all.  Jaden will be 6 months next week.  He's teething, rolling, trying to crawl, babbling and laughing all the time.  He's doing pretty well if you ask me.  He didn't start solids yet...but he's ready.  I just want to talk to his doctor before we start.  With that being said:  I don't need every Tom, Dick and Harry to tell me what I should be doing for my son.  I know that "a lil whisky on the gums never hurt anyone" but I don't want to do that to my son.  It increases the chances of RSV.  And I know that when I "was a kid, *I* was already eating mashed potatoes and blah blah blah" but the pediatrician said not to give him solids until he's at least 6 months.  He's not starving.  He'll be ok. 

Jaden is my kid.  I know what I'm doing.  I'm not as dumb as I might look.

Until Next Time:
~MommyToBee

I think we found a venue!!

Pictures aren't the greatest quality...but here's the Holiday Inn in York Pa...the Red  Rose room (I believe that's what it's called)

Now, I need to go :(  Because Greg just taught Jaden that he has a little something between his legs...geez.

Until Next Time:
~MommyToBee