Tuesday, August 31, 2010

Past Due. Car Troubles. And I'm not supposed to stress. HA! *Kinda TMI*

Well, my appointment went just how I thought it would.  I gained an additional 3 pounds.  My blood pressure was not good but not bad.  And all the nurses said they didn't think they would see me.  Apparently I'm the most pregnant woman they have seen in a while.  Gee, Thanks.

They found Boo's heartbeat pretty fast this time.  (YAY fresh batteries!)  The doctor came in and talked about all the normal things.  Things haven't changed.  Like at all, since I was 28 weeks.  So the questions they ask are always the same answers.  The student doctor left and told me he was getting a resident to come in so we could do a vaginal exam and from there talk about induction.  Alright, I can deal with that.  Now, any woman who is okay with a vaginal exam, has something wrong with their head.  And let me tell you, it's even more uncomfortable when you're pregnant.  And then to have a doctor, student doctor, fiancee and nurse watching isn't exactly fun.  No wonder why women are tense.

The doctor confirmed my worries.  My cervix is still hard and thick.  The only change was the cervix was starting to funnel.  (The outside was starting to open...only a fingertip...but the inside was still closed...which is normal.)  What he did next though, shot me through the roof.  He stripped my membranes.  (It might help stimulate labor...by pulling the membrane away from the uterus.  Yea...a little painful)  When he was done poking me from the inside he told me our game plan for the end.

In the next week we will have 3 NSTs.  (Fetal Non-Stress Tests)  Basically to make sure that he's moving enough and that he's not under any sort of stress.  There's a concern for over due babies that they might pinch their umbilical cord and basically cut off his life supply.  As long as things are looking good and I don't go into labor beforehand, I'll be having this baby September 7th.  (They were all booked up for a "labor" day baby.)  I was just told to sit back and relax.  He's on his way.

There is an end to it all!

Now we have been having trouble with the van.  And I'm praying that Greg will get it figured out tonight.  If not, I'm going to be even more stressed.  (Not to mention, my cool headed Greg is so stressed out and I don't know how to calm him down.  That has NEVER happened before.  I'm the stressbot.) 

I'll post more tomorrow. 

Until Next Time:
~MommyToBee 

Monday, August 30, 2010

It's finally here.

It's been 40 weeks.  280 days.  6,720 hours.  403,200 minutes.  Or 24,192,000 seconds.

Yea...that's the human gestational period. 

So tell me again that pregnancy is so short. 

And to think, after today, my little man is "past due".

I'm trying to remember that it's okay that he's in there.  He's safe.  He's still growing.  He's still moving.  He's fine.  And when he comes out, that's when I have to worry.  It's a big scary world.  Full of all the things that he's sheltered from inside of me.  I can say that until I'm blue in the face, but it doesn't matter.  I want him HERE.  Again, it's been 40 weeks.  I think he's done.

I'm waiting for my doctor's appointment later today.  I'm hoping that the doctor will give me good news.  That either my "never changing" cervix is finally cooperating...or that they will tell me a time to be at the hospital.  And if it's the latter...I hope its soon.

I have known a few women who were pregnant and due around the same time as me.  (4 to be exact...5 including me.)  Well...everyone else had their babies.  My friend Megan had her twins last night.  And everyone else had their babies weeks ago.  And here I am.  Still bloated, fat, swollen, miserable, and pregnant.  Megan was even due after me...which makes me even more sad.

But again:  I'm going to try to stay positive.  There's a reason why he's still in there.  And I won't be pregnant forever.  I just gotta remember that.

I should probably do something to occupy my mind.  But eventually I'll wander into the baby's room and wonder when he's going to come.  And probably start to cry because my hormones are all over the place.

Until Next Time (when, hopefully I'll have some good news)
~MommyToBee

Saturday, August 28, 2010

Tick. Tock.

Sorry it's been a while since posted.  We didn't have the internet...damn FIL.  Anyway, it's now all set up...and if FIL knows what's good for him, he won't "forget" to pay again.  He saw the wrath of a very hormonal pregnant woman...I don't think he's going to risk it again.

Well.  Not a lot has changed since the last time I posted.  At my last appointment, I was still not dilated and my cervix was still real high.  Absolutely zero change since my 38th week appointment.  I would love to say that it doesn't bother me, but it does.  Especially since I've been having some painful contractions and nothing is happening.  It discouraging.  But we still have three days until my due date...and anything could happen.  However, at my next appointment (on my due date) we will be discussing induction.  They are starting to worry about my blood pressure.  It has been slowly going up...and they want to make sure that I don't develop bigger problems down the road.

Basically...even the Doctor doesn't want me to go the extra 10 days after my due date.  She feels that he is more than ready to come out, but he needs a little nudge.  

And that's why I'm praying that she is the one to deliver Boo.

Again, all the people around me are nuts.  My mother actually called Greg last night at 11:15 because he texted her.  It's a long story...but the short of it...she thought I was in labor.  Oy.  He's trying to talk to her softly because I was in a lot of pain and had some trouble sleeping.  Well, when I asked him who was on the phone and he told me I pretty much freaked.  And it continued into this morning when she told me she actually believes that we won't tell her when I go into labor.  If she keeps up this nonsense, I won't tell her.  Even though she is "going to know before *I* go into labor".  Obviously she knows my body more than I do. 

And then I get the texts saying "Oh...you should do *blank* to go into labor."  Most of them has been a been there, tried that.  I appreciate most of the suggestions and I welcome them from most people.  However... don't tell me that Greg and I are not having sex the right way because I still haven't gone into labor.  Seriously?  I think if he is able to get me pregnant twice, he knows what he's doing.   

Truth be told, I hope I do get induced now.  And I hope it's during the week.  I want my best friend to be able to come see her Godson.  I want to tell people when to come.  I want to have that final date.  I want to see the light at the end of the tunnel.  Right now, I just feel like I'm going to be pregnant forever.

A few pictures from last week:



38 weeks, 5 days.  Our last night out before baby.  I love that man with all of my heart.  Even if he's a dumb dumb most days. :P

Until Next Time:
~MommyToBee

Wednesday, August 18, 2010

Trying to stay positive.

Well we had our 38th week appointment yesterday.  I was having contractions on and off since Sunday so I was thinking that maybe there would be some progress.  Seriously no one really makes it to 38 weeks with out no dilation.  HA!  So wrong.  Not only was I still not dilated, but my cervix was still high.  (Meaning he's not ready just yet.)  My heart broke a little when the doctor said:  "Welp, just like I thought.  High, closed and thick."  I guess this means he's gotta bake a little more.

However, my blood pressure is creeping up.  I had it checked 5 times while I was there.  Started out highish...then it got even higher...then I had to stay for an additional 15 minutes for it to come down.  Luckily it did.  (I believe I was upset from staying in the room for FOREVER.  Apparently normal pregnant women were having babies at the hospital and all but one doctor went over...so they were a little busy.)  But I was told to just kind of relax and keep my feet up today.  Drink plenty of water.  Lay on my left side....yadda yadda yadda.  Don't they see that maybe I want to walk around like a crazed woman so maybe this child will come?  Nope, I guess not. 

Greg is trying to be supportive, but let's face it, he hasn't gained a ton of weight.  His hips don't hurt constantly.  And he doesn't have to occasionally stop in his tracks because your lungs feel like they just stopped working.  I miss seeing my feet.  I miss my engagement ring on my finger.  I miss sleeping on my belly.  As supportive as any man can be to his pregnant lady, he cannot fully comprehend what's going on.  A man will never be pregnant.  And will never know what it truly feels like. 

He does try.  And I'm sure that my constant bitchiness isn't helping much to put a smile on his face.  He understands that I'm uncomfortable.  I just hate how he says "Baby, he'll come when he's ready."  That doesn't help me to see the whole light at the end of the tunnel.  I do know that ultimately I'll be pregnant for maxim of 22 days.  I don't think the doctors will let me go that long.  (My fundal height was 46cm yesterday...but he had his little tooshy WAY up there.)

But, if I don't start dilating and my blood pressure continues to be an issue, they will have no choice but to induce.  Yes, that will suck...but I want my baby to be healthy.  And that includes having a healthy mommy too. 

I know I'm growing impatient...but for real now...it's time for this bun to be let out of the oven. 

Until Next Time:
~MommyToBee

Tuesday, August 17, 2010

Extremes

I've been busy trying to get things in order before the little one gets here.  However, it seems like I've been hitting road block after road block.  Quite frankly, I'm getting a little sick of it.  In this week alone, there are several things I need to get mailed out.  Plus, I need to find a pediatrician for Boo.  Plus figure out how to add him to the medicaid that I'm using.  I'm so confused.  So very confused.  And now the department of welfare office is telling me they need to see my birth certificate!?  Oy.  Now I have to track one down...and give birth...and do about a million other things that need done.

This sucks.  I don't want to be a grown up.

I'm just hoping that things start looking up.  I've filed for unemployment for the very first time this week and I'm finally getting somewhere with it.  I have filed before but my requests never went through and I would always end in a dead end.  Now it seems like I might be getting some extra money and hell, anything is better than nothing at this point.  I'm just hoping that my insurance doesn't run out.  That wouldn't be good.  I would probably cry. 

This past week has been one shit storm after another.  I've been trying to keep my head on straight, but it's not easy.  I've had a very short fuse lately...and I'm not proud of that.  In fact, yesterday Greg and I had a fight that was so bad I almost wanted to leave.  I have never been that angry at him.  That's something that scares me.  I love that goofball...even when he gets on my nerves.  I don't want to end up like my parents.  I know it was more than likely just hormones and he was grumpy...but it was a big fight.  We eventually did make up and we both apologized.  We realized it was silly and it wasn't as big of a deal as we made it out to be. 

...Still hurtful though...

Not only has things been kind of crappy lately I've been going through these extremes.  I'm extremely happy.  I'm extremely nervous.  I'm extremely bitchy.  I'm extremely hungry.  I'm extremely tired.  I'm extremely thirsty.  And so on and so on.  I'm hopeful that this is just my way of getting ready for Boo to come.  That somehow this is just the last hormonal push before I get to hold my little man.  It sort of feels like a desperate plea though.  I literally feel like I'm going to be pregnant forever.  I don't care if I still have 13 days until my due date...I'm going to be pregnant forever. 

However, that might not be true.  I have been having some contractions (I'm pretty sure they're contractions) since Sunday.  Nothing too serious.  They're few and far between.  And they're really not too painful.  It's still a sign that maybe my body is just gearing up for the big day.  I hope so.  I don't think I could handle being pregnant for much more.  It's seriously starting to mess with my head.  Seems like everyone else I know is having their babies.  And here I sit...swollen, fat and miserable.

Maybe the doctor will give me some good news today.  If not, I guess he'll just stay in there a little bit longer.

Until Next Time:
~MommyToBee

Monday, August 16, 2010

I think I should just turn off the phone.

I know these calls are only going to increase in numbers by the time I have Boo.  Everyone knows what call I'm talking about...the "Is he here yet?!?" call.  Not only do I get those calls, but I also get the texts too.  I get people who I really have no desire to talk to, texting me, asking me.  And then of course I have to make idle chit chat with this person because I don't just want to completely dismiss them.  However, I'm getting kind of tired (and I'll admit, a tad depressed) saying "Nope, he's not here yet."

I realize that people don't want to be left out when I actually do have him.  But realize that if you do have some sort of importance in my life, you will know.  Best believe as soon as I go into labor I'm going to be posting on Facebook.  And if that's not enough...there will be a mass text when he's finally here.  I don't see a need in telling people who I barely talk to about every detail of my delivery.  And I'm pretty sure Greg is going to hijack my phone while I'm in L&D so I can't be on cafemom and facebook every 30 seconds.

Our hospital guest list is rising to dangerous levels.  There will probably be 4 people in that room from the time he's here until he goes home.  I'm pretty much okay with that...considering it shows how loved he is already.  However, I'm going to become a serious recluse once he's home.  My dad on Saturday was telling me how he wants to see the baby within the first month he's born.  So sorry, I'm not planning on coming up there until at least October...maybe even Thanksgiving.  And that will be a very long weekend.  We have a lot of people to see. :) 

I'm starting to realize that maybe my mom shouldn't be in the delivery room when I'm actually pushing.  I love her so much but I'm pretty sure she's going to try to take control.   The last thing I want to do is kick her out, but I'm probably going to have to do so.  It might be her grandchild, but it's my child.  I don't think she realizes that I need to do this my way.  No matter how she feels about it.  I'll hope and pray that she relaxes a little...but I swear, if she continues to talk about how I'm having a 12 pound baby or how much the baby wants to meet his MomMom...I'll snap.  (She also uses a name that we might be picking...which I FRIGGEN HATE.  It's not for her to announce my son's name.  That's for me and Greg to do.)  Trust me, the baby wants to meet his Mommy and Daddy more than that crazy lady who gave his mom life.

I know people are just acting crazy because they're ready to meet him.  There is nothing more than I want right now than to hold my child.  I'm probably the craziest one out of everyone.  However, I feel like I am allowed to act a little nuts.  Everyone else though, needs to be institutionalized.  And the comments about how big I am isn't helping.  Yes...I am very pregnant.  There is no sane reason to point that out on a daily basis.

I'm done with my rant.

On Saturday my dad, stepmom, stepbrother, his wife and their two kids come down for a visit/ to drop off a dresser.  I was very grateful that I finally got the dresser.  However, I wasn't impressed that 3 of the 5 drawers are broken and I can't use them until Greg gets wood glue for it.  Nor, was I impressed that I the rest of the stuff I had at my Dad's came as well.  Mainly because I didn't want it.  It was all junk.  The last time I was there to pick up some of the stuff I told my Dad to throw it all away.  I even offered to bag it up, and he told me not to, that he'll do it.  HA!  Nope, I bagged it up HERE and it promptly went in the trash can. 

...'Cause you know...he didn't want to go through my stuff.  Even though all the items were in a different dresser...so he would have to go through it anyway.

*SCREAMS, bangs head against the wall*

But it's okay.  I'm not going to let that get to me.  I have the dresser now.  And I can start on getting Boo's room COMPLETELY done.  Which has to wait until Saturday now.  We still don't have the glider.  And if my lovable, completely idiotic fiancee doesn't stop spending money we don't have, I might never get it.  (This might just be a hormone surge...but seriously...it's annoying.)  

Well...I'm officially in a bad mood (HAHA...gotta love pregnancy.) So on that note...

Until Next Time:
~MommyToBee   

Thursday, August 12, 2010

Waiting on Boo makes me write.

I love how I dedicated yesterday to cleaning when all I actually did was play farkle and bingo on facebook.  OH and write out to do lists.  Which Greg wasn't happy when he saw.  Oooooh well!  His list is half of mine...but double the work...with less time... :) What can I say, that's how I roll.  I love his argument though:  "I work during the day, why do I have to get this all done by the end of the weekend when you get extra time to get your list?"  "'Cause you procrastinate, and the things that I need you to do I can't do.  And I get extra time because you knocked me up." 

...He's never amused when I pull out that card. :P

I'm just pretty excited that this weekend I get to finally finish the nursery!  OMG!  WHOOOOOOO!  Dad is bring the dresser on Saturday (and I'm dropping him from my phone plan...Hell yea!).  Plus we can finally afford to get the glider?!  Holy shit, is it my birthday?  Someone, PINCH ME!

Sorry...I'm a little excited.  I've been waiting to get the nursery done since July 4th weekend.  Yea, we're a little behind schedule.  But that's okay, cause Boo is still in there.  And we will have everything ready in time.

In other news.  Boo hasn't been that active lately.  I'm not sure if it's because he dropped or he's just gearing up for the big day...but he's hard to "wake up" lately.  I know he's cramped in there.  But still, usually I can get a few good jabs in.  Now, not so much.  He's still moving, just not as much.  It kinda freaks me out.  I know he's okay in there, it just different I guess.  When he's been non-stop for weeks now, and for him to be really sleepy since he dropped makes me nervous.

Speaking of sleepy....it's only 7:30am and I'm ready for some more pork tacos and a nap.  

Until Next Time:
~MommyToBee