*twitch* (rant)

I really don't know if this is just pregnancy hormones or the fact that my future in laws are indeed - jerks.  All of 'em.  Including their little doggies. 


Let's go back a little.  In November my FMIL and FSIL got into it.  So much so, that my FSIL assulted my FMIL.  So, my FSIL and her son moved out.  Thank God.  Yes, it was only 2 houses down, but she was out of our house.  I, for one, was so happy.  I dispise Greg's sister.  She never has anything nice to say and she's manulpative.  Just an all around bad person.


Fast forward about 2 weeks.  FSIL is getting evicted from where she's living now.  So, let's go over to our "mom's house" and cause havoc over there!  Let's bring in our little doggie that ISN'T house broken.  *facepalm*  This dog is teaching our two dogs that it's okay to use the house as it's restroom.  It's so gross.  The thing is, they don't go downstairs, where there's doggie pads....they go UPSTAIRS where my FILs don't go.  (FMIL can't climb stairs well and FFIL just stays downstairs with her)  Greg and I have had enough and we have to buy a baby gate to keep the dogs away from upstairs.  It's that bad.


I'm tired of mopping up after them...and frankly it hurts.


Ohhhh but it gets so much better! Weeeeeeeee


FSIL and her sons are getting evicted where they live now.  They found a new place, which is great!  They're not allowed to have dogs...so guess who gets their little poop machine?
That's right!  We do.


*Facepalm till I bleed*


They need to do something with this dog.  With all of these dogs.  I need Ceasar.  He'll fix 'em real good.


Now I need to relax, cause everytime I start to get pissed the little one inside of me decides it wants to move around so much that it feels like mommy is going to up-chuck.


Until Next Time:
~MommyToBee

Baby are you down, down, down, down, down?

I would like to know how one person can be completely exhausted but completely hyper at the same time?  I've been waking up at the strangest hours and not being able to fall back asleep.  I think this pregnancy thing is preparing me for life after delivery.  All I want is to have one night where I sleep for more than 2 hours straight.  I know that's asking for a lot.  I can understand to go to the bathroom.  But jeez.  Just one night?  Please, baby?

This is a very short blog.  Basically, I wanted to post more yesterday, but it already seemed to be long so this is a continuation.

But.  When you see a pregnant women at a store...please....PLEASE...do not touch her belly.  If you really want to touch, ask.   Do not just walk up and start rubbing on their belly.  It's just not nice.
 
Also.  I'm 4 months.  I'm not carrying twins.  I'm not ready to pop.  I'm fat.  Always was.  Probably always will be.  I'm huge already.  You don't need to remind me.  

No, I don't know the sex yet.  Please stop asking.  I didn't know at 7 weeks...and I won't know until 19 weeks.  Sorry.  

Oh.  And my boobies and how I use them, are my business.  Not yours.  :)

I'm sorry for the mini-rant. 
Until next time:
~MommyToBee

It's been a little while.

The past week has been hard.  And from what I hear?  I'm not the only one who's having a rough couple of days.  Things have been pretty topsy-turvey, and I don't like it.  Greg has been either really amazing or really annoying. (more about that later) I've been finding out some things about my family that I don't really appreciate.  I do not like being the one person in my family that has "failed" because I'm "knocked up" without "being married".  And I shouldn't flaunt my belly all over the internets, because it isn't a "belly bump" yet, it's just me deciding that I want to eat more doughnuts. 

Because apparently....we now live in the 1950's and an un-married woman should be sent to a "distant family member" for 9 months.

Ohhhh that is SO not how I roll.

My best friend told me about some of her struggles lately.  And I cannot help for my heart to break for her.  She has a lot to deal with right now, but I know how strong of a woman she is and I know that somehow she'll make it through better and stronger.  Jenn,  I'm here for you if you need anything!

Well it's tuesday and you know what that means!  Belly pictures!  Because I am going to flaunt what Greg put up there!  Andddd I don't care who gets offended at my bloated midsection.  I'm carrying a chid, for pete's sake.  Duh, I'm going to put on weight.

Although you can't really see it, my lower belly is starting to pull up.  Yes, this is a shirt that I wear all the time.  And yes, those are Greg's shorts.  My whole body has decided that it wants a few extra pounds on some places.  (Ohhhh maybe THAT'S why I'm a big sack of fat-ugly?)

Blehhhhhh oh. my. goodness. Although I'm rocking the "baby bump" I do get self-conscience.  Sometimes I just see some pictures and don't think that's me.  When I look at myself, I have reverse annorexia.  I see myself as little, not a house like everyone else sees.




Even here.  (Yes the picture is really small and you can't see my face and good lord do you see my hair!?) I can't believe that my belly is sticking out that far.  To me, it's really noticable that I'm pregnant...I guess since I was big to start out that I just looks like I'm eating large amounts of salt.

Blehh, I hate when everyone else is right. 

Aw, forget it.  I'm still going to show my belly.  'Cause I refuse to be looked at like I'm a hippo and not a pregnant woman. 

Now that I've completely flip-floped and then returned to my orginal statement about my baby belly...I want to share something that happened between me and Greg.

Greg did his tax refund and he got a decent amount back.  (I will never EVER go to HandR block again.)  Mine wasn't as much as his but that's okay.  Well, I asked him if I would get some of his money because of me not working and we can save it for the baby.  He agreed.  And I'm getting almost half for Baby Boo.  Yesterday, he cashed his check, I got my money, he has his.  Soon, I hope to have my refund too.  Which leaves us with a good chunk of money to put away for the baby. 

Well...to most of his family, this means that he should buy this and that for themselves.  He's flat out refusing to buy anything for anyone, except for me and him.  Greg is a total redneck.  He loves all things 4wheelers, dirt bikes, fishing and camping.  (He made me get my fishin' license last night...and got me a rod too.)  With that being said, his brother wants him to buy a 4wheeler.  No doubt, it's a nice one.  But it's something we don't need.  This is the conversation they had over the phone (it was on speaker, I was evesdropping...I swear.)

Shawn: Hoss, dude, buy this 4wheeler.
Greg: I can't.  It's too much money. 
Shawn:  It's only $500.
Greg: I got a baby on the way.  I can't afford it.  You buy it.
Shawn:  I don't got the money.
Greg: Well, I don't got the money either.
Shawn:  How far is she?
Greg: 4 months.
Shawn: That's plenty of time...
Greg: *cuts him off* You make $14 an hour...you don't pay for anything.  Not even your cell phone.  You just got paid on Friday...where did your money go?  I don't have the money.  I got a family to support.  Don't bother asking me again because I don't have the money, even to go half way.  Stop asking me to buy it cause you want it.  It's not my fault you blow your stack. *hangs up*

...Well that made me cry.  Well, air makes me cry.  But, just hearing that made me feel pretty good.  I know how much Greg wanted that 4wheeler.  He chose to put his family first.  I might complain that I don't get to see him that much or that some of his friends take him away from me...but I am really lucky.  I love the fact that when we are laying in bed at night that he now holds my belly.

This morning he woke up extra early (he started at 5am) to go and get me breakfast.  Granted, McDonald's wasn't serving breakfast and he went to Sheetz and it wasn't good; it was the thought that counts. 

(I had to pick the worst picture...but he's still my mashed potatos and gravy!)

Yeahhh...... I'm pretty lucky indeed.

Until next time:

~MommyToBee

What was so wrong about the '90's?

Yesterday I was talking to a friend that I haven't spoken to in a while.  He just found out that his girlfriend and him are expecting!  After we exchanged congradulatory comments (he didn't know I was "with child" either) he said something that really shocked me.  "I'm just glad that I'm raising my child in th 2000's then the '90's."

I know what he ment by that statement.  That there are more programs in place for children then there was back then.  And that technology has improved.  There are more schools.  Just in general...more things for his child then there was.

I, on the other hand, disagree.

I'm going to try to keep this as short as I possibly can...but this is a rant that is 16 hours plus in the making:

*I don't want to teach my child that it's okay to take text messages during dinner. 

*That it's okay to not know your neighbor.  That first names are good enough.

*That video games is the norm, not a luxuary.

*You can google anything your parents don't want you to know just yet.

*It doesn't matter what you do, you can be a celebrity.  And somehow, it's cool to be drunk/ bitchy/ attention-seeking/ rehab going/ talentless no one. 

*Yes, we had Britney Spears.  But she never pole danced at a kids award show when she was 17.

*People cared more about voting for the President then for American Idol.

I want to show my child that with everything we have now, sometimes it's better to have simplier things.  I miss a lot from my childhood.

*I want to see more "Rugrats" and  "Hey Arnold" and take away "Spongebob" and pretty much anything on the Cartoon Network.

*I want to see the "Spice Girls" message back:  Girls Rule.  Now adays we have girls running around in hotpants (and in one case, no pants...Lady Gaga...we get it...you're "edgy"...now put on some normal clothes) and singing about getting drunk from sun up til way past sun down.

*I want to be able to watch the news and not hear about any "celebrity" and how they "went to rehab" or "fell off the wagon" or "put on weight."  I really don't care to hear about these people.  So what if a golf player had affairs or an actress is spotted stumbling home from a club after she claimed to be "sober". 

*I want to watch television that the whole family can watch.  Like "Full House" or "The Frest Prince of Bel-Air".  And not have to cover my child's eyes and ears when they talk about something sexual or inapporpriate. 

*I want my child to go to a school where they don't have to walk through a metal dector at the grade school level. 

I guess I'm talking about something bigger than myself.  I see what has been happening to the world in the past few years.  It makes me sick that there's nothing I can do to prevent my child from being exposed to bad things.  I just hope that I'll be able to raise a child that's strong enough to protect themselves from all the terrible stuff that can happen. 

So I ask:  what was really that bad about the '90s?

Until next time: 
~MommyToBee 

Action packed post!

We got names, and pictures and details about the upcoming month(s)!

Let me first start off by saying...I really am not enjoying this naming process.  This name is the only name this baby will have, and will have it for the rest of their lives.  It's a pretty big thing.  Although the baby won't offically be named until Greg and I hold our little one, I still want to start looking at names so we can get a general idea.  So...I ask you:  If you have any names that you think are cute (but please, do not give any possible names you'll use.  Oh, and only boy names) send 'em my way.  Since I have a pretty good idea of what I like...Greg is still up in the air.  That man, he cannot make a decision to save his life.  And the names he does like I'm not a fan of.  But we somehow managed to find 4 girls names that we like...and we need 3 more for a little guy.

Girls:
*Alyssa Rose
*Maddison Jo
*Sophia Lynn
*Laura Rose

Boys:
*Jackson Carter
*Rylee/ Rielly (we both like that name but we don't have any idea for a middle yet)
*Elliott (same as Rylee)
*Jacoby (Mommy's favorite so far)
*Colten (Daddy's favorite so far)

We have a bunch more but that would be a very long post.  On my boy list alone, I have over 25 names.  While Greg has 9.

I promised pictures....so here they are.

This was taken last week, at 13 weeks one day.  From the previous pictures I lost a lot of the "bloat".  I still can't believe how big I am already. 

This is my personal favorite. ^.^  Yes, I'm trying to look at my feet.  Sounds so rediculous that they've already gone missing.

This one was taken last night...14 weeks.  I look terrible...mainly cause I was crying all night and starting fights with Greg.  I really need to stop drinking water before we take pictures.            

                                                       

Now.  We have a doctor's appointment in 2 weeks.  Andddd I'll be 16 weeks.  Which means....We should be able to find out what the baby's gender is.  I know that it's a little soon and it won't be 100% accurate.  That's why Greg and I decided that we are going to go to a 3D ultrasound!  We are planning on going at the end of March to see what are little one is going to be.  Since my insurance doesn't cover just a gender prediction ultrasound, we figure we might go a little deeper and actually see it's features.  The hospital charges a little over $100 for a normal 2D ultrasound and that's with one picture.  The package that Greg and I want to get has pictures, a DVD and a guarentee that if they little one is being modest, we can go back and get it re-done.  All for a little more than a normal, gritty 2D?  Sign me up.  And I'll be there.

I plan on going around the 18th week.  Which, will be normal and everything should be in view.  Especially since I think I am further along than what they say.  So hopefully *crosses fingers, knocks on wood* I'll know what is growing inside of me.  I know some people are wondering why I'm not waiting...but I don't want to get all gender neutral stuff.  I wanna know! 

Well now it's time for me to go back to folding laundry and cleaning up.  Ahh the joy. 

Until later:

~MommyToBee

"Baby, it was only a dream..."

One of the things I found out is when you're pregnant, you have more dreams/nightmares.  I've always had an active subconscience...but it's a little crazy right now.  Every night I have at least one dream where I'm as big as an apartment complex and Greg is cheating on me.  And he's cheating on me with people I know but I haven't talked to in years.  When I wake up, I am insanely miffed and jealous.  The other night I actually punched him, I was so mad. 
My name is Amanda, and I think I abuse my boyfriend...

Of course, he has never cheated on me.  Nor has he ever cheated on anyone.  But these dreams are so real.  And after more than a few dreams I literally cannot go back to sleep.  All I can do is roll over, hold him and know that he is laying next to me and that he's not going around behind my back.  I have no reason to believe he's cheating, because we're attached at the hip.  And when he has to go to work...he's texting me...almost constantly.  So why am I bugging out?  

Well.  He does have a few friends that are women.  Not a big deal, right?  *buzzer sound*  I loathe the one woman.  Her husband works with Greg but he doesn't talk to her husband.  And she texts Greg...alot.  We've only met once but for some reason, I don't trust her.  But shouldn't I trust my fiancee?  Duh, of course.  I just don't like how she eyed him up.  I feel like a dog that must mark my territory and snap on anyone who tries to go after what's mine. 

The sick thing is?  It's not even women.  Lately he's been helping people out with their cars.  He's real good and working on that kind of stuff.  And he's getting paid for most of it.  But they are taking him away from me.  I'm grateful that he has a real skill (I still think that he should go get his G.E.D and see if anywhere would hire him.) but does he have to do it every Saturday? And sometimes during the week?  He'll get calls saying "Oh are you going to do *blank* for me?"  They honestly expect him to drop everything to do whatever they want.  Every night he gets texts and calls for all sorts of things.  It bugs the hell outta me. 

I already told him I get him, all to myself, a month before the due date and at least two months after the baby is born.  He didn't really like that at first but eventually he agreed.

I'm sure that the reason why I'm feeling so jealous is because I am getting insecure.  I love my baby bump.  But, other things are growing too.  Like my booty, *I had to google booty...cause I didn't remember how to spell it* hips, legs and boobs.  That, and up until about a week ago, I had no sex drive.  So I felt that if I wasn't giving him what he wanted, he would find someone who would.  And that maybe I'm not that interesting.  That's why he always going off and working on peoples' cars.  In  my sick mind, it makes a lot of sense.

I trust Greg.  I really do.  And I have never had these thoughts about him before I got pregnant.  This is a new thing.  I just wish that these nightmares would stop.  I'm losing sleep and losing faith.  It seems so silly, but it's really eating me up inside.

Well, now that I got that out of my system.  I'm sorry for the emo post yesterday.  That is the number one reason why I shouldn't blog when I'm already crying for no reason.  It's been a very bipolar week for me.  Ha, this baby is going to make me even crazier.

Side note:  Everything has been going well.  I *think* I'm feeling the baby move.  It kinda feels like gas.  It's kinda weird.  It's also really cool if it is the baby.  It's just something I got to bring up to the doctor and see if it is the baby or just phantom flutters.

Next post WILL have pictures.  I decied that even though my laptop is dead and my desktop is a pos, I'm going to make it work.  :)

Until later
~MommyToBee

I. Have. No. Life.

Really.  I don't. 

Most people would find that fine or maybe even comforting.  But I don't.  I seriously feel like I'm going out of my skull with boredom.  I've cleaned.  I've exercised.  I've tried drawing out how I want the baby's room and our room to look.  Nothing's working.  And I've become lonely since then.

No this isn't a pity me post.  But I have nothing around here.  I miss the days when my friends would call me up and say "heyy...I'm bored lets go to *insert random place here*".  We'd go out, have a few laughs, then come home.  My day to day has become: 

• Facebook
• Cafemom
• Blogging
• Cleaning
• Watching tv
• Talking to Baby Boo
• Waiting for Greg to come home.

No life.  Whatsoever.

I guess I just feel that in a few months I will no longer have that "get up and just go".  I'll have to worry about who's going to watch the baby.  Make sure the baby has everything.  Then when I finally get to my friends or whatever, I'll be constantly thinking about the baby.  In 184 days (hopefully not before and not after, and no bed rest) there's going to be a mini-person coming out of me.  And, I know this is selfish, it's also the last day that's just for me.  Wow.  I didn't realize I was that selfish. 

But let me just say.  I want this child.  I cannot wait until I get to hold that sweet, innocent person.  But it's coming so fast.  I guess I'm worried that after the birth no one will come around or want me around...even more so than now.  And I know that's mostly my fault.  I've pushed people away.  And because of it, I'm pretty much, alone.

Ya know how some say "No one likes the fat pregnant girl"?  What if you're the one who doesn't like yourself when you're pregnant. 

Well I'm going to go, because I thought I would feel better...but it's just making me feel worse.

Until later:
~MommyToBee