I. Have. No. Life.

Really.  I don't. 

Most people would find that fine or maybe even comforting.  But I don't.  I seriously feel like I'm going out of my skull with boredom.  I've cleaned.  I've exercised.  I've tried drawing out how I want the baby's room and our room to look.  Nothing's working.  And I've become lonely since then.

No this isn't a pity me post.  But I have nothing around here.  I miss the days when my friends would call me up and say "heyy...I'm bored lets go to *insert random place here*".  We'd go out, have a few laughs, then come home.  My day to day has become: 

• Facebook
• Cafemom
• Blogging
• Cleaning
• Watching tv
• Talking to Baby Boo
• Waiting for Greg to come home.

No life.  Whatsoever.

I guess I just feel that in a few months I will no longer have that "get up and just go".  I'll have to worry about who's going to watch the baby.  Make sure the baby has everything.  Then when I finally get to my friends or whatever, I'll be constantly thinking about the baby.  In 184 days (hopefully not before and not after, and no bed rest) there's going to be a mini-person coming out of me.  And, I know this is selfish, it's also the last day that's just for me.  Wow.  I didn't realize I was that selfish. 

But let me just say.  I want this child.  I cannot wait until I get to hold that sweet, innocent person.  But it's coming so fast.  I guess I'm worried that after the birth no one will come around or want me around...even more so than now.  And I know that's mostly my fault.  I've pushed people away.  And because of it, I'm pretty much, alone.

Ya know how some say "No one likes the fat pregnant girl"?  What if you're the one who doesn't like yourself when you're pregnant. 

Well I'm going to go, because I thought I would feel better...but it's just making me feel worse.

Until later:
~MommyToBee