Gas drops, smiles and co-sleeping.

Jaden is growing like a weed!  At his one month check up (OMG!) he weighed in at 12 pounds, 10 ounces and grew almost 2 inches.  PLUS his head grew an inch.  Whoever said breastfed babies are tiny were mistaken.  He is in the 95th precentile for height and weight...and even the nurses say he's not chunky he's perfect. 

The only problem we have is that he's a very gassy baby.  I have practically cut out every gas causing food from my diet, but it doesn't seem to be enough.  And since his little belly "sounds like a bass drum" we have now started to give him gas drops.  Everyone says they are a life saver but since we started using them he refuses to nap for me during the day.  Although he's still a very happy baby, I can tell that he's going to be very vocial.

He is starting to show off his personality.  And with that, he's smiling more.  Which makes me smile.  And he's cooing...awww melts my heart.

Since I'm starting to heal a little better (On Monday I'm giving my pump back) we have transitioned into different sleeping postions.  At first he slept on me or on the floor in his bouncer with daddy.  We are now offically co-sleeping.  And once I am able to get up out of bed a little easier, he will be in his crib.  I'll be able to use my glider (that I couldn't fit in because of the extra fluid)  and get him into a sleep routine.  Jaden is already doing well with night time feedings...he just needs to learn that mommy's boobies aren't his pillows. 

As for me, I'm physically healing...slowly.  Mentaly, I'm healing too.  My OB is really amazing...he "perscribed" me to talk about me for a half an hour a day to anyone.  He doesn't believe I have PPD, but I need to talk things out so I don't get overwhelmed.  It's helping...I no longer want to kill my dear Greg.

Well that's it for now!

Until Next Time:
~MommyToBee

Sleep when the baby sleeps...

..Pretty much every experienced mother gave me that advice.  It sounds simple enough.  Whenever the baby sleeps, you nap.  Don't worry about cleaning or getting much done...you have a newborn to take care of!  Hmmm yea...easier said then done.  I can't sleep knowing that there is a chance that Jaden will stop breathing.  I literally watch his chest rise and fall.  I'm pretty sure this is unhealthy.  Especially since now I've been having nightmares when I do fall asleep.

I'm so jealous of Greg because he can sleep.  He doesn't have nightmares.  Just me.  And it's to the point where it's starting to effect me.  The headaches, the general bitchyness and that groggy feeling.

I just may never sleep again.

And although, in the end, just seeing Jaden's face makes things all better...it would be even nicer if didn't fight napping now.  My once quiet, sleeping little angel is now awake all morning and refuses anything but boob.  He sleeps well during the night, but, during the day is a different story.

What is he doing now?  Sleeping.  What am I doing?  Wishing I was sleeping.  What's Greg doing?  Yelling at me to come to bed.  Cause we both know it's gonna be a long night again tonight.

Upside...next weekend...as long as the Vertis Gods work with us...we will be in my hometown. <3.  This whole "having a baby thing" makes me miss my family. :(

Until Next Time:
~MommyToBee

A quick update while the baby is entertained.

Basically in the past few weeks I have become a mother, a cow, a pacifier, a pillow and of course, a lovie.  Let me just say this...my boy is definitely my fiance's son.  He LOVES to eat (a.k.a. boobs) and he is super nosey.  If he can't look around, he gets pissed.

He's growing like a weed though.  Whoever said: "they don't stay little for long" was so right.  Even in three weeks, he looks completely different and I can tell he's going to grow up way too fast.  Now if only he will sleep in his crib.  One day it'll happen.

As far as me, I'm still healing.  When they removed my staples from my incision, my wound opened up.  For a week or so they were packing it (basically stuffing it with a medical "ribbon") but the doctor decided she wanted it closed...NOW.  I now have a wound VAC and I cannot wait to get it removed.  It's bulky, it gets in the way, and the alarms are LOUD.  It's supposed to help close faster, but only time will tell.

Well the baby is starting to get fussy.  I'm pretty sure he wants to eat again. :) 

Until Next Time:
~MommyToBee

I haven't forgotten to blog, I swear.

Things have just been really busy/stressful since Jaden's arrival.  I'm getting used to having a little one around, but it is a big adjustment.  Everyday I swear he gets bigger.  And everyday I swear I get a little more tired. 

Things have been...hard...lately.  I find myself being angry at Greg a lot.  There's no reason for my anger but I can't help it.  I know he has to work, but he doesn't realize that my job doesn't have an 8 hour day.  Even when I think I'm done, I keep going.  Maybe I resent him for being able to sleep while I have to watch Jaden's chest go up and down.  Maybe I worry that somehow I don't measure up.

Maybe I need to talk to my OB on Monday about possible PPD.

...Maybe what I thought I could avoid, is unavoidable.

Although I am 2 weeks out from having him, I'm still having a rough recovery.  When they removed my staples my incision opened up.  I now have to go back twice a week to make sure it doesn't get infected.  Everyday I have to deal with the nerve pain that's associated with a c-section.  And although it's not as bad as it once was, it still hurts.  And the weird "fluid pouch" that happened following my surgery is still there and showing no signs of going away.

I don't want to say that my birthing experience wasn't pleasant, but the recovery is hell.

*Speaking of me being angry...I just had to yell at Greg because apparently, I can't have 10 minutes to update my blog.  No, I have to talk to him constantly...plus ward off his advances...soothe our son (since he's a "momma's boy")...and make about a million decisions about our life.*

Jaden is doing extremely well.  He's breastfeeding and is a pro at it.  We had some ups and downs but he knows what he's doing.  He eats alot though.  I swear he's about 12 lbs so far, and can no longer fit into a size 0-3month pant.  His little legs are so long!  He's a pretty happy kid.  He doesn't really fuss or anything.  And he sleeps pretty good too.  If only he would sleep in his crib though...that would be awesome. 

Here's some pictures:

 

Until Next Time:
~MommyToBee

He's here!

I would love to write out my whole birth story at this time, but the little one is sleeping, so I'm pretty sure that's my cue to take a nap. 
But with that being said...I can still show him off, right?

Introducing...
Jaden Alexander Thomas.
Born: September 9th 2010 at 3:56am via c-section
Weight: 10lbs 5.8oz.  Length: 22inches

Last Post As A MommyToBee

I have started to write this post over and over since I've become full term.  Then, at my due date, I almost had it posted, but realized that my pregnancy journey still wasn't done.  So, with a heavy heart (and empty arms) I deleted it and decided to write a new one once I felt the time was right.

While I don't know what to say, all I can do is just hope that somehow I'll be a good mother.  I know that in the end, it doesn't matter if Boo has all the latest toys or that his clothes are brand new.  What matters the most is that he's taken care of, protected and loved.  I may doubt myself at times about how I can take care of a child, I know that he will never go without love.

In my previous drafts I have long explanations about how my pregnancy has brought me to where I am; but now they no longer seem to hold merit.  So instead, I leave with a letter to my son.  (Who at this current moment is going nuts inside my belly.)

BooBoo:
Christmas Eve morning was one of the best mornings ever.  That's when I first knew about you.  Sure, I had an idea before...but that little test confirmed it.  You were growing inside of me.  And from that moment on, I knew my life wouldn't be the same.  You filled a little hole inside of my heart that was empty.  When I told your Daddy, he cried.  Not tears of sadness, but we were just so happy to know that you were coming.

From the moment I saw you on the first ultrasound, I knew you were going to be a hand full.  Even the technician said that you were bouncing around and full of life.  You didn't want to sit still enough for him to get your hear beat.  When you were finally big enough for us to hear your heartbeat, it was the sweetest sound that anyone could ever hope for.  I still pray everyday to hear that precious sound. 

Then when it came time to "see" you again you were much bigger.  We found out that you were a boy!  Something that I secretly knew the whole time.  We saw you move and kick and suck on your wrist.  I wished then that I could give you the world...because that's what you deserve.

You continued to grow and grow.  And I got to know your personality a little more.  Yes, even when you were in my tummy you liked to make Mommy worry.  Sometimes you didn't want to move.  And other times you only wanted to move when Mommy was tired and just wanted to go to sleep.  I knew that to get rid of your hiccups I have to hold and rock you.   And how when Mommy gets upset you kick me in my ribs.  And yet somehow, when I'm upset you can console me like no one else.

We patiently waited for your arrival, even when I thought you were done in there.  You decided that you were in the one in control, and refused to budge.  But now it's time that you'll be here very, very soon.  And while I'm sad that you'll no longer be inside of me, I cannot wait to have you in my arms.  You'll never know how much I love you, Boo.  You'll never know how much you changed my life. 

I love you so much my precious little one,
Mommy

Sleep is wasted on me.

I haven't slept right for the past few nights.  I had this problem last week and it's starting to get to me.  At night I'm up for hours at a time just tossing and turning. Although when I do sleep it's pretty decent...but it takes me hours to wake up.  I can't shake the sleepies.  I know it's because I am so uncomfortable.  I can't roll over by myself.  And if I somehow manage to lay on my back, it's like a turtle trying to get off its' back.  I keep telling myself that I won't be like this forever.  Eventually he will be out and although I'll have to deal with a newborn then, maybe sleep won't be so difficult. 

I'm sure I'm going to those words hardcore.

I'm not sure if my lack of sleep is causing my next problem: severe mood swings.  They aren't like the mood swings I've had so far.  Basically I've been crying like it's going out of style.  Yea, it's probably lack of sleep and me stressing out and all the bullshit that goes into late (LATE) pregnancy.  All I know is that I want it to stop.  Everytime Greg turns the corner I'm crying for some reason or another.

To make matters worse; Greg's sister (Lori), 16 year old neice (Donea) and twin nephews (Zach and Aaron) were in a car accident last night.  They were taken by ambulence to Hershey Medical Center and the kids were admitted.  It's super difficult to get any sort of information.  I know that Donea was driving (she just got her permit, pulled out in front of a car, and was t-boned), one of the twins had to have emergency surgery.  We also got news that one of the twins fractured his neck but we don't know which one.  Scary stuff.

Who knows maybe all of this excitement will send me into labor, although I'm doubtful.  I haven't had a SINGLE contraction since they stripped my membranes.  Although I'm having more of a discharge, I'm suprised I'm not having more of the "pre"labor pains anymore.  I just want this baby out and in my arms.  :(  I swear he's never coming out. 

Until Next Time:
~MommyToBee