Wednesday, July 7, 2010

I have been dreading this day...

It's been one year since I found out that I miscarried our little munchkin.  I haven't been looking forward to this day, but I knew it was coming.  Somehow, I feel that I should just accept it and try to put it in the past, but I can't.  To this day I still think about the child that I had lost every day.  It still hurts.  I'm not sure that the pain will ever go away.

Although I am completely in love and excited for our little one growing inside of me, I can't help but to wonder what would be.  At this time, I would have a child already.  A little boy or girl in my arms.  But, I have my Boo inside and he's healthy and I cannot wait to have him.

It still hurts.  I've been trying to not think about this day...but I can't.  I've been trying not to cry, but I am.  I've been trying to concentrate on how excited Greg and I are for our little man...but it's so hard.  All I can do is just think.  And remember.  And wonder if it really was my fault.  Everyone says that it wasn't my fault, but I'm still not sure.  All I want to do is just curl up in Greg's arms and cry.

But I'm going to try to pull myself together.  I don't want to put myself under any extra stress and cause harm.

~MommyToBee

1 comment:

ChelliBear ღ ツ said...

aww, i may be a 13 year old, but i know that when you have the baby, your going to be so happy. And it wasnt your fault, just think of the positives(: