Saturday, January 15, 2011

Scared

In the past 2 years, I've been in the hospital a lot.  Tomorrow, I am planning another visit to the ER.  Why?  I can't feel my fingers, I have blinding migranes and I have so much neck/back pain I can barely hold Jaden.  While before I wouldn't hesitate to go, now I'm so fucking scared to.  I'm not afraid of what they'd find...I'm afraid they will try to admit me.  As much as I hate to say it, I'll go AMA if they try to make me stay. 

This fucking sucks.  I can't even feel my son holding my hand.  And every time I try to pick him up, I cry out in pain.  When I go to hold him my  back screams in pain.  UGH. 

I just hope it's nothing serious. 

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